Monday- That unnamed stress

Do you ever deal with that Stress That Shall Remain Unnamed. You know it, when your significant other asks you whats wrong and you just can't put your finger on it. You feel like a porcupine, all prickly on the outside, and soft on the inside. Like if you don't keep up your guard some predator will wander by and make lunch out of you. Sometimes I think if I just go back to bed, I will wake up reset. I wish I had a control-alt-delete buttons those days.

When I try to explain in a waterfall of things comes out. Many are unrelated, some don't even make any sense, but the things that have a real impact, that I should be upset about, are buried under these things, this weight, and I have to dive down deep to really figure out what is going on and why.

So that is the way I have been feeling. And I am still not completely sure why. Yes I have all the normal things to be worried about when having your own small business, like cash flow, show schedule, inventory, taxes, etc. And I have my normal stressors, like house things to do, family illness, day to day obligations, and the occasional things that springs up out of nowhere. But I don't know why my brain is so weird lately. Why my fuse is so short, why I have this inability to figure out what is wrong and then go and fix it. And I think that is what makes it all worse- that inability to fix it myself. The inability to even diagnose what needs to be fixed. And that is the straw that breaks the camels back: that is what makes it all worse, intolerable in fact.

So I am stuck in this cycle right now. I am doing what I can think of to break out of it: visiting with friends, exercising, knitting, meditating, eating well, and sleeping lots. I think it is just going to find a weak point and I will break out. Maybe when craft shows start, maybe nicer weather so I can get outside more, maybe when I get some things situated with the business. But it can't last much longer. Somethings got to give.