Just who exactly are you???

Dad is taking care of paperwork and moving to PA officially, rather than just using my house as a "mailing address". Like it matters…

DMV: Need one proof of identity, and two proofs of residency:

First, he needs proof of identity, which was easy because he has a passport. He could have used a certificate of US Citizenship (had he moved here from someplace else and become a citizen) or a Certificate of Naturalization (which didn't apply either). He could have used a PA Photo ID Card, or PA Driver's License (wait, isn't that what he was applying for in the first place, isn’t that like using the word you are trying to define in the word's definition?). His last options were a Military Photo ID card (nope, don't have one of those), or his raised seal birth certificate (which is in a fire proof box, and has his name spelled wrong because it is a duplicate anyway). He'll chose the passport.

Then he needs to establish residency. Two of the following: Tax records, Lease Agreements, Mortgage Documents, W-2 Form, Current Weapons Permit (isn't this encouraging fire arms ownership?) or a current Utility Bill (no cell phone). Well tax records are from the old address since we moved after April 15, so is the last W-2. Not on the lease, no mortgage, no firearm permit (although I doubt he has the proof of identity to get one anyway), and no utility bills (although C would be happy for him to pay the cable bill). So I have to go with him and bring my PA license and my utility bill (what is up with these utility bills being proof of anything?) and sign and affidavit that he lives with me, and bring some of his mail (cell bills, credit card statements) to show that he receives mail here.

Whew, that's a lot of paperwork. Sure hope it's contributing to homeland security, because it sure is contributing to my ulcer.

Now.. dad needs a new Social Security Card. His old one is in tatters in his wallet. So brown and worn from use and age you can't even read it. I don't think it can be extracted without turning into a pile of ashes. So when you get one of those, be sure to bring your passport because they do NOT accept your birth certificate as a form of proof of identity, but ironically they do accept your driver's license (that was awarded based on your birth certificate). While I think of it, you need to produce your bith certiciate for your passport too..hmmm…And by the way, they could care where you live, there is no proof of residency, you just tell them where you want it mailed. No wonder why identity theft is so darn easy.

And lastly- the bank account. Dad and I are opening a joint account so I can take better care of his bills and can stop forging his signature when something needs to be paid that I can't pay on line. They need a driver's license with a current address, and a proof of residency (back to that utility bill). So we need to go to DMV to get dad his new PA license before we go to the bank and try to open an account with something that proves he lives with me. I think I'll get a copy of the affidavit the DMW will accept and just pass it along to the bank. Think they'll take it???