Dad Update- 8

Last Wednesday dad prepped for the colonoscopy. He has decided he would rather die of colon cancer than ever go through this procedure ever again in his life. He feels that at least death by colon cancer must include large doses of morphine or morphine-like drugs at the end, which will remind him of his days growing up in the '60's. This is preferable to the "lets pass out in the bathroom" episode we had Wednesday about midnight, followed by the early morning without sleep due to the feeling that whole area of the body was trying to escape on its own and avoid the procedure all together.

I did learn one important lesson: if I plan on passing out in my bathroom, do it with the door open, if the door is closed my rescuers will be forced to bang me in my chest or head hard enough to either move the body, or to get me to move, so that they can enter and help. And when we moved here I was so excited about my bathroom. Its not large you see, but the last house had one so small, the one time I was sick enough to be praying to the porcelain god, C came in to check on me and after I screamed for him to "please leave me alone and close the door" (although I don't recall being that polite), he reminded me the door couldn't be closed because my body, in its current position, was blocking that from happening. So in the new house, I could be sick in peace, which can be a good thing… but only as long as sick doesn't include passing out…then alone is bad.

So the procedure itself went fine. One little polyp, no big surprises. Doc decided to try and hunt for dad's hernia (which he couldn't find, thus proclaims is not there) before the procedure, and two days later dad calls him "Doctor Fingers" and still has residual pain from the poking and prodding. You need to understand my dad is about 5'7" tall and only about 160 lbs. The aggressive poking and prodding needed to actually feel though the wall of blubber many obese Americans are carrying around is not needed on his tiny frame, yet this doctor seemed to almost enjoy the ability to feel around, regardless of the physical pain inflicted. And since it was after they started dad on the anesthesia he had no care or real ability to stop it at the time.

Like he says, death is preferrable….