5.22.2006

May 15-21 Week 20

The stress is building. It is getting overwhelming. I can’t get motivated, like some mystical force is going to sweep into my life, and do everything that needs to be done. We close on the house in three weeks, I have a big show next weekend, my classes I am taking are just plain time consuming (and one has a group project so I just can’t not do work or it messes with other people too, I hate that), and I have no plan of attack. I am just taking it day by day, figuring what has to be done and doing it, and hoping there is room in the day to do something else.

I want to move the old fashioned way. I want to get lots of boxes and start putting things away, wrapped neat and tidy, ready to go. C wants to pack and move slow. A few boxes here and there (like an entire shelving unit) then moving the shelves and the stuff and then unpacking right away, pretty much moving a little per day until we are done. I like the idea of a slow, stress less move, but my body doesn’t seem to understand the concept. Every time I think about weeks of upheaval, having to stay in this house when I have a home to inhabit, my stomach turns. My intestines are a mess, I get nauseous every times I start to think about it, my sleep patterns are totally upside down, all I want to do is cry for no reason, and I don’t know where to begin dealing with it. I just want this to be over, this is worse than any move I have ever made.

So what did I get done this week? Monday I caught up on laundry, did homework (you’ll see a lot of that the next 6 weeks), cleaned the house (because cleaning makes me feel as though I am in control of something), and worked on lotion bars. Tuesday I met with B, realized that I got none of my goals of the past two weeks completed (need to get on those), we went to this yarn & bead store where B bought beads, I bought yarn (retail therapy is good right now), and went to the house inspection (where there was surprisingly few problems with the house). Wednesday seems to be full of nothing. I know I didn’t sit around, but nothing made it to my “accomplished tasks” list. I think I spent the day wrapping lotion bars and working in the shop. Thursday was filled with homework (I have a ton I tell ya). Friday I ran my usual errands, and emptied the van, and got pre-packed for Mayfair where I could. Saturday I worked on my web site- almost done, and packed up stuff for my soap making demo. Sunday was my demo at Out of Our Hands- it was very cool, and I meant to do more, but couldn’t get motivated so I knit.

The demo went well even though it was sort of cold out and it rained some. It was from 11-2 but I think 10-1 would have been better. I got to meet some cool people, answer some great questions, and got a tip on a local place that I could probably give seminars and day classes. This I am really excited about. I’d like to go back to classes but in a more limited way than I did at the last place I taught (like 4 hours rather than 8 weeks), and this place is all about holistic education and the arts- seems like it is right up my alley. Need to make sure I don’t loose the info in the move for sure.

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