Negative Self Talk

So one thing that I notice is when I get sick and/or tired then that is when all the negative talk and thoughts begin.

I have to admit, 95% of the time I am a pretty positive person. I wasn't always this happy-go-lucky but since starting my own business I have just gotten into the habit of practicing positive thinking. I really do believe the universe sends back to you what you put out and if I can put out a little happy I sure seem to get it back so far.

But every day I have "those moments". You know the ones. Sometimes you have a conversation and then an hour later think of what you should have said. Then you run through the make believe conversation like 100 times wondering how it would have turned out f you has just changed one thing. Or just before bed you start thinking about things that worry you and the scenarios start, over and over, keeping sleep at bay. Sometimes in the car I think about a phone call I need to make, or a conversation I need to have, until I am so filled with anxiety I can barely pick up the telephone and dial.

For me stopping the cycle is the most important thing. It is like my brain is a record just playing over and over again. If I can get off of it, I rarely go back to the thought.  First I have to recognize when it is happening. This can be harder than it sounds. For me the thing that break it is usually giving myself something else to concentrate on. I tend to do well with audio stimulation: podcasts, audiobooks, music I like. These keep me focused on something else "in my head" rather than my own thoughts. Adding in something physical, like knitting, cooking, or cleaning and I have the right combo to get myself out of a negative place.

Three weekends into Chriskindlmarkt and only two weekends to go until the end of my season and I still had to get myself out of this last night before sleep. I think there is a certain amount of "never good enough" that a person has to have to be self employed, to stay motivated, to continue to strive for better, but it can be a cycle that takes a toll on you too. For me it makes me feel alone, like I could be the only person who thinks like this, that I am not "normal". But in the light of day, in sharing this with you, I know this is something we all go through at some point in time. So thanks for listening :)

Hope to see you soon!