There is a parable (often attributed to the Cherokee first people, but I don't know how true that is) abut the two wolves that live inside each of us. There is the black wolf that is full of anger and hate, as well as pride and sorrow. There is the white wolf that is kindness and empathy, love and peace. Every minute of every hour of every day these two wolves flight inside for control. Which one will win? The one you feed.
For some people happiness, love, peace, forgiveness, faith and other positive feelings come naturally. For others (like me) these things need to be cultivated, nurtured, practiced, and strengthened. My positiveness is like a muscle, if I just let it go, it will weaken and be tougher and more painful to use in the future. This grey, cold winter has been hard for me to cultivate my positive, to feed my inner white wolf. I don't want to go out in the cold, the ice, the dark and see my friends, or go exercise, or buy fresh healthy foods. I want to sit in my warm, dark, spare room with my TV and my knitting and my tea. Alone for hours, day after day. I tell myself this is something I enjoy (because I do LOVE to knit) but there must be some other things to do too.
It is during this time of year that I make a detailed to do list each day and make myself accomplish it before I can retreat into my craft cave. It keeps the business on track, makes sure I get to the gym, and generally makes me feel like I have accomplished something each day. It keeps the dark at bay. When I do go and sit I try and watch light-hearted and educational things rather than the dark, edgy dramas I am typically drawn to. Those are OK in moderation, but an afternoon binge on a dark drama is ultimately seen in my dreams that night, and that is not a good thing.
So like everyone else during a hard, cold winter I am just itching for spring, to get outside, to enjoy the sunshine. Until then I need to keep up with accentuating the positive, to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
How do you feed your white wolf?
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