When I stopped working my "real" job and became a soapmaker I had a hard time with my self worth. I felt as though if I wasn't bringing in a paycheck then I wasn't contributing to the home. It took almost a year of C constantly reminding me that it is "our" money no matter what, and that he was investing in our future by investing in me and my business, that it would all work out in the end. I still have my days, especially after a show that didn't go as well as planned, but mostly I feel like an equal contributor now.
This equal contribution isn't just financial in nature. I make sure the house stays relatively clean, I plan and cook most meals, in general I "hold down the fort". This allows C to travel for his work and have a solid foundation and strong safety net when he needs it. I know now if be both worked the way we did when we met, this probably wouldn't have lasted and built to be as strong of a relationship as it is. We both have our roles, they are separate roles, they are equal roles, and they have nothing to do with income or gender, they have to do with our passions in life and following them together as a partnership.
Passions in life. Someone recently told me that no one is passionate about their jobs. I disagree that no one is passionate. There are two many jobs that require some level of passion to obtain and keep. You can't be an ER Doctor without some passion for the practice of medicine and for the human race in general. You can't be an actor without passion for the craft. You can't be an artisan without passion for your medium. You may not like all aspects of your job, you may not like all the people you work with, but if you look there most likely will be one aspect that you can claim to be passionate about.
If you can't find passion at work, find it somewhere else. Volunteer, pick up a hobby, take classes, anything to help you find that spark.This can be hard with a full time job and a full time family but I think it can be done, even if just for 15 minutes a day. We are vessels and when we get empty we have nothing else to give those around us, we get refilled through things we are passionate about.
Everyone has to feel like they are worth something to someone. So be sure to tell the people around you what they mean to you. Also remeber as we are going through our day to thank the people who help us. This morning I had a wonderously helpful government worker help me accomplish something over the phone I thought I needed to do in person. I could tell by the sound in her voice that when I told her that "she rocked" that not enough people do that. Yes, we as customers should expect good service, but be willing to tip (even if just with words) when someone is extra special.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and tell your family and friends just how much they mean to you. It could be the exact moment they need a boost.
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