Have we lost all etiquette?

There is something interesting about working retail, you sort of blend into the background and disappear. People will have conversations right in front of you, about you or your product, when you are less than two feet away. Working retail in a moveable store front as an artisan is even more interesting because your demographic changes from show to show and the culture changes from location to location.

When those conversations are happening right there, it is hard not to get angry when they are demoralizing. It is hard not to defend yourself, I have in the past and I only regret it later because I let that person drag me to a level that isn't the real me.

I have learned that income doesn't buy class, or etiquette. Some people can only feel better about themeseves when they try to make you look or feel bad. This has little do do with income and more to do with upbringing than most people like to admit. Not letting them tear you down is the only way to win, you can't feed the monsters.

We artisans need to wear many hats. For many of us we create five days a week in the peace and quiet and lonesomeness of our studios. We are then expected to come out on the weekends and turn on our retail personalities and interpersonal skills like a light switch. Some days this is easier than others.Some days we are great at it, make no mistakes, remember all the right words to describe our art, and let insults run down our backs like water. Other days we stumble for the right change, fight with getting the credit card machine to swipe, forget what we think are key points to something we have been doing for a decade or more, and bite back when bitten first.

I had a family member come help for the first time this weekend. She was amazed how much energy goes into s day, and the booth was already set up and didn't need to be torn down at the end of the day too. She likened it to a job where you work a whole week, and then only get paid if it doesn't rain on Saturday. How many "normal" people would work hard at a job if that was the way it worked everywhere?

So why is this post titled about etiquette? Just to remind us all during this time of year when lines are long, parking lots are packed, and tensions are high, that we are all human. We are all people. We all have loved ones, passions, cares, and troubles. Forgive a little, relax a little, and be nice. I try and remind myself that every day.

Also: if you are the woman who said my soap looked like dog food, I am sorry that when you realized I heard you and apologized I told you "It's OK, you are only insulting my livelihood". I should have just let it roll down my back like water. I am not proud of that one :(

Saying No

I find it impossible to say no most of the time. It is because I am afraid. I am afraid of hurting someones feelings, I am afraid of missed or lost opportunities, and I am afraid that I will be perceived as being rude.

Having this as part of my personality is bad enough, but when it leaks into my business, that is when it gets really bad. The stress mounts up, I loose sleep, I get behind in other obligations, and my family life suffers. Over the year's I have found a few tips and tricks on how to keep organized and how to know exactly when to say no.

1) Keep a schedule. I pt every special order into a calendar. That way when I get another I can work backwards from the due date, see what else I have scheduled and decide if I have time.

2) 100% or nothing. If I can't give a project or order the 100% energy it deserves then I need to say no to it. These things are representing me, often at weddings and showers, where many people are receiving my products for the first time as gifts. I have to put my best foot forward, or not at all.

3) Deadlines. I have a firm date that I will not change for special orders at the end of the year. I just know that I won't get things done in time if I try and start a project later than this. It is hard to stick firm but it is important to (see above #2)

4) I am not the best person to do something. Often I like to experiment and my customers like me to as well. They are patient and kind and understanding. But if I am under a short deadline for a product I have never made before, sometimes it is best to just turn it over to someone you trust. I can either contract out some of the work, or just give my customer the contact info and completely get out of the loop depending on what they need/want.Typically if I am making other things as well I act as a project manager and point person, if it is just one item, I will just pass on the customer to someone else I trust.

5) Say "not now" not "no". I do my best to put off projects when I can. I amazed how often if I just explain that I can't make something right now the customer is willing to wait (a short time) instead of going on to someone else. Just be honest and sincere. Explain how you want to do your best but you can't unless you wait two weeks. Even extend a small discount for waiting, or free upgraded shipping.

For me taking special orders is what keeps me creative. I constantly learn new techniques, new ingredients, and new spins on an old product. They are the heart of what I do, but I can't let them take over my life and the rest of my business either. Hope these things help you the way they have helped me in the past. Let me know if you have any tips of tricks to share :)

Thanful for the Veterans

Look, we could quickly digress into the whole conversation/argument about what wars (past and present) really were wars, and which ones were and were not necessary for our country to take part in in order to stay free or keep the majority of the world free, but this post is not about that, it is about the people who serve and who have served our country in the military.

Some countries have a mandatory time for everyone to spend in the armed services. We do not make everyone serve, and in fact there has been little need for us to even use the draft. Our armed services are completely filled with VOLUNTEERS. Yes, they get paid, but if you take a look at their income, really they don't get what they deserve to do what they do.

What I can say is that everyone I have ever met that is serving or has served in the military lives a life I can't even imagine. They lack so many freedoms the rest of America has: they most often can't decide where they live, sometimes what they are doing as their job, what days they can and can't take off, what to wear to work, and they often can't even just quit at a drop of a hat. I can't even fathom living without being able to make some of these basic choices that I make every day and take for granted.

Now think of the ones that put their lives at risk every day. Think of their loved ones. I stress when C drives to work on the highway for an hour in the morning, the thought of him in combat sends me into an anxiety attack instantaneously. The idea of having children while your loved one could be under attack makes me nauseous with fear. The strength of those who serve and those who love them is a strength that cannot be imagined until you live it.

So today I am thankful for all the people who have lived their lives without all the choices, so I can live mine any way I darn well please. I honor them by trying to live my life the best it can be lived: by enjoying every day of it, by loving my job and my family, and by being the best person I can be. This is how you honor solders everyday, not just by putting out a flag, or saluting them.

And today I am thankful for my stepfather, who married my mother and has taken care of her as well as both my grandparents (when they were alive), and cherished me as one of his own. He not only made sacrifices when he served allowing me to live the way I want in the grand scale of being an American, but he has always made sure I can live the way I want as his step daughter. Thanks Rad :)